There are fairytales and there are those who dream of them and some who actually get to live them. You always have those star studded eyes and then with a blink you come face-to-face with reality.
When you are used to living in a protected shell anything that breaches that, hurts you even harder. You yearn for support only to be found it snatched away. And the fear of learning to live all alone gets the better of you.
'Time will tell. Time will make it easier. Time will make you understand.'

Well, Millions of seconds have passed by and nothing seems to have been fixed! Ok, the judgement might be wrong and you wish, pray and hope that it is; for the better of you.

The Gift

Life has been a whirlwind lately. Convincing yet confusing. Clear yet misty.
As seconds tick by questions keep piling. And who has the answers... maybe no one.What the days have taught me is that ACCEPTANCE not approval is what holds everything together.
And it is the most beautiful gift one can ever give and get.

Happy New Year 2011

Though the New Year's Eve wasn't as happening as I wanted it to be but nevertheless I was totally content with the year that just passed by. And I'm so glad that I don't have to welcome 2011 with uncertainty as I had to last year!

Life is beautiful!

On a serious note, I resolve to make my 2011 even better than 2010. More studies, more gyming and a much more positive and happier me :)

Happy New Year! 2011 here I come :)

Wicked!

While surfing on the net stumbled upon this funny statement:

"Do you have verbal diarrhoea, or are you ACTUALLY INSANE?"

To my love...

And finally I parted with my beloved mobile- N73! It had been there with me for past 4 years. Had seen me through all the testing times. The ups and down of life. I never thought it would leave me alone like this. I'm sad. Devastated actually. Totally lost. And I'm totally clueless about where it could be.

Life is so unfair. *sigh*

I can't imagine holding on to another cell phone other than my N73! Hope god sees me through this tough time and gives me the strength to bear the pain.

And may my N73 live peacefully wherever it is and may it get all the happiness in the world. I loved you and will always love you till my last breath. And I miss you like crazy! :'(

New beginning...

It is time! Yes, time for me to move on. To leave the past defeats behind and welcome a new beginning with open arms. So far, I've had a jittery start with a goof up at the counselling venue which I'm finding too hard to forget! How could I have been so absent minded. Sometimes, I surprise myself.
Though Patna was my first choice amongst the options available but still I've my reservations regarding it. Courtesy, public opinion about the place! I guess I'll have to take a FB sabbatical yet again to prevent myself from drowning in the pool of comments.
This 3 month long break has really taken a toll on me. I seem to have forgotten most of the subject matter . I'm scared. Apprehensive. Lost. Excited. All at the same time.
Though, I'll be just 1hr 20 minutes away from home but there is much I'll be leaving behind for 3 yrs. I didn't cry while going to MRU but this time I'm sure I will.
There are times we earnestly wish for something and when we receive the gift, we wonder if this is what we always wanted!?

Okay, I know I should stop ranting and just enjoy the journey.

Reality Shock!

I haven't been reading the newspapers for a long time now. I used to enjoy going through the mindless sections of the supplement earlier but have convinced myself to overlook them as well. The reason being that the print media hardly publish anything that would be of remote importance to me and without which I would die! And since I get all the updates on the net I don't care to give the 25 page modern literature even a passing glance. Also, it was only adding to the negativity I was trying to overlook.

But today since I chanced to read the newspaper, front page carried an article about a 14yr old child prodigy who had topped the JEE exam in Delhi this year. Reading further, I realized that I knew less than what I feel, I ought to be knowing! Reality hit me like a bolt of lightening. So here I am trying to rediscover and improvise my writing skills. I have thus decided to feed myself new words everyday and read extensively!

And as has been said: A person's success is directly proportional to his vocabulary!

So watch out for the soon to be successful Dermatologist :-D!

Move over and make way for the future Dermatologist! :-)

I'm High! High on life!

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
Guess what! I got through AIPGE! Ahhhh!!! Ahhhh!!! And I'm running out of exclamation marks. LOL.

This is one day I do not ever want to erase from my memory. It is one of those days I want to keep re-rewinding!
Let me start from the beginning. After giving the exam I thought I might get a rank but wasn't that sure. I kept rechecking the answers from the various forums on Rx PG but was still doubtful. I expected 55-62% but apparently people said the cut off would be around 55% and that gave me the jitters. LOL.

Today, I had mixed feelings. I thought I might get a rank if I was lucky and if I would it would be in late 3000s. To save myself from all the anxiety I went off to Gurgaon with Mom and V*. Came back around 6.30pm and then I had to face reality. Mom told me to be brave and just believe in God. And then somehow I gathered some strength to view my result. The offical site for the result was not opening. So I then decided to open Rx. I was too scared to type my surname in the search so decided to go with the initial four letters of my name. And BANG! There it was... my NAME! In the list of selected candidates! I started crying! I was howling actually. Everything was static! I couldn't believe what I saw! Ahhhhh! I didn't know what to do. What to say. I was num. I just kept on crying. Meanwhile my mom tried reassuring me that I wasn't dreaming and indeed this was it. Finally! Finally! I was through! LOL.
The feeling is yet to sink in though.

I'm HIGH! High on life.

I'm HIGH. High on life.
And this feeling is intoxicating!

On a lighter note. I received a forwarded message which left me laughing for over an hour!
Enjoy. Here it is :

Ram chandra keh gaye siya se ,
aisa kalyug bhi aega,
jab patient ko bhagvan hi bachega....


Aur doctor to bas MCQ karta reh jaega....

It's been more than two years since I last updated my blog! Well, I guess its a record of sorts. LOL. Since its a very challenging time for me I thought writing a post would cheer me up and motivate me enough to start all over again :-).


After all,

Success seems to be largely a matter of HANGING ON after others have let go.
- William Feather

I do...

Its been said, 'Actions speak, louder than words'. But I feel the other way around!
So here is my another immature attempt at poetry on a not so fine day!...

I don't know...
For what I bleed
But I do..!

Unaware, lost, wanderin...
I walk, don't know where to,
But I do!!

My eyes tell stories...
Those unheard!
And to them, I cling on.

Behind the friendly banter...
I hide, for what i don't know.
But I do.

For they wish,
I breathe, as they command!
I don't want to.
But, still I do!

I feel ashamed.
For reasons, I don't have to.
But, I do!

I wait for a Happy Ending..
I still wait, don't know why,
But I do!

I pray, I wish, I hope...
And, I beg
To set myself free.
Yes, I do!

ZINDAGI, finally ROCKS!!

Yo! Life rocks! And I'm sure, you all are aware why! Because I finally have ample time to kill from my memory, those tensed days spent in mental torture! You guessed it right, EXAMS ARE OVER...and I'm loving the feeling!! And those of you who would rather tell me, that life is a challenge and one has to give an exam at every step, I chose to ignore (:-p)

PS: I got lots to add to this post...but the updating will have to wait because I'm still catching up on LIFE

A well deserved break

After, say three weeks of continuous torture, I'm back and feeling great. You really can't imagine what kind of mental instability exams can cause until you've been recently through with some. Actually, writing an exam isn't all that tough but what is an arduous task is to get through the night before it. God your mind is full of all sorts of crap, you think of the ceiling, the tap, the fan(which needs cleaning), the dirty clothes, the trees, the sky, the road, the movie, the song, the toothbrush, the sunscreen, the supermarket...... in whatsoever order. But concentrating on your book is an ordeal. All bizarre, irrelevant and meaningless things are scanned through. But remembering the corneal thickness seems so very heavy on your already overloaded and saturated mind.

Phew... It really is tough huh….. And for once you feel like leaving everything behind and running away to someplace, which is no where. Every night it’s the same story.... alarm rings and it’s put off with an inadvertent movement of your hand....then you get up in the middle of the night, 2-3hrs after the planned time.... curse yourself, your alarm, your book and the day of course. But there is no way out.... so with a heavy heart you start rote again. There are piles of notes to be gone through, it’s a fight or should I put it in a much more refined way and say....it’s a battle against time! And each and every time, no matter how hard I try, I always tend to lose. No regrets, and as I always keep saying...For its life, the very life of life.

Random thoughts

When random, strange people do unexpected nice things, I'm left with a grim smile and thoughts to ponder over. What makes them so unpredictable!? And for them to go out of the way, to make that value adding smile on me,even more worthwhile. That humane touch, which I thought had been long lost, creepily touches cords of my heart. In between the rambling conversations, I try studying their minutest expression, from the contraction of orbicularis oris to frontalis. The minutes ticking away. I being absolutely clueless about the reason for such gratitude towards me!

And finally I fall back, relax, forcing myself not to be judgmental. For it is life, the very life of life.