Today, I was caught between self realization and forced opinions & beliefs. Won, what was most important for me momentarily but in some way lost to my own self. Life will never be the same again. I wonder if there will ever exist a day for mankind when he won't force or would be forced by greed but by self satisfaction. And if there has been a single day of your life spent in selflessness in important and critical situations I bow to thee.
It was a long awaited day. What would probably have been my last official match in this college didn't turn out to be as would have been expected. The game that united us as a team........spread us apart. All the time, energy, devotions, emotions, strategies, encouragement, perseverance everything seemed to have been washed away. But the moment, which I've grown out of now changed the course of events. I blame myself and not anyone of been so credulous. Crazy enough to keep those days, when we shed all the sweat, at stake. Now that I'm answerable to myself I feel ashamed.
But I have undergone a change of thoughts again thanks to a healthy discussion with a level headed friend. Present psychology is live for yourself, rules must be enforced, people seldom do things for others and being an exception is useless. I wonder if we had been in place of the rival team would their decision have been same as ours!? Is it as a result of our sub conscious minds which has long being witnessing the atrocities enforced!? Was it a mob decision or verdict?
Our rival team colour was green but they failed to get similar jerseys. And as the rule goes, the team gets disqualified. So there we were at the center of the court objurgating the others. And some neutral ones who were bamboozled into believing either of our cause, vocalized for us. It was literally a fight of nimble wits. While I, as the member of my team stood by it, expressed my disapproval for playing the match..... no.... no... don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I was this saint out there who was wiped to express my disapproval but I
attribute it to my bullish stubbornness. Now, when I look back, think of the paltry trophy for which this took place.... I feel angered with myself.Things had been quite cold between the two teams. They had defeated us last year. And most of them I hear, were already celebrating this year's victory, before the match. Their sarcasm & aggression were evident on their faces. We were wished by all, who wanted their pride to be shattered. And believe me, there were a countless many. No.... I'm not trying to portray the rival team as the savage beasts of the jungle ( actually they called themselves Panthers' ) but I'm just emphasizing on the fact that the match had been turned into an intense emotional war! Though, there were some of them on the other side of the net with whom I was quite friendly and who never had an hostile remark for us. They even congratulated us on our previous victory in the qualifying match.
But everything was forgotten; we stood there blinded, advocating our cause. Tempers were running high, adrenaline was at its peak. Some swore, others laughed. It wasn't even the Helen of Troy that we were fighting here for! The heated discussion continued so did the ambiguous replies. It was turning out to be a fight of egos. And finally the decision came.... the rival team was Disqualified! This decision was met by shrieks of joy & disappointment, a happy & an unhappy lot and by those who chose to be indifferent.
Few hours down the drain as I looked in retrospect, I became ambivalent about the whole thing. But now the damage had already been done! So I pray to thee if things can be changed........
Now, two days after, a re match has been decided. This has been a welcome decision for some and has been faced by hostility by the others. So, may the best team WIN!!!
NB: The thoughts and opinions expressed in the above article are my own and do not reflect the opinions of my teammates or supporters.
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